Back in the Feudal Days kings and queens and ruling courts had jesters -- people to mock them, bring them down to earth, and make them laugh.

Now that we serfs are owned by different entities, namely corporations, it's time they started acting like the lords and ladies they are by adding a new, sorely-needed position to their vaunted halls of power: the corporate jester. And, I'd like to add, I'm perfect for the job.

I'd attend meetings and cut boring speeches short. I'd make people who ask dumb questions shut up. I'd make witty insights and do impressions. People would pay attention for once, or maybe even look forward to meetings. It would be great for everyone!

Except for the people I make fun of. But they could take comfort in the millions of dollars they roll around in behind closed doors, sniffing and fondling each bill, rubbing them on their nipples. Really, they can handle it, I think.

Of course, I'd have to wear a mask. And park in an undisclosed location. But I'm willing to do it for the good of the workplace.

When meetings aren't in session (but let's face it: there's ALWAYS a meeting in session, somewhere) I could roam the halls making off-the-cuff smartass remarks. Think of how much fun that would be! For me. Mostly. But for others, too!

Someone should jump on this idea. I'll be waiting for the job offers to roll in.