Don't Wear Wednesday/WeekEnd Recap Double Feature: Beware of Moose

Drunkenness is no excuse for this.

When Dilf and I made plans to stay at the Sheraton Hotel and Towers after Ms. Amanda's wedding Sunday evening, we had no idea we'd be sharing the hotel with a herd of Moose. Yet, that's what happened, and the results were less than ideal.

The trouble started as soon as we walked in the door. Theme park-sized lines at the check-in stand indicated that something was amiss. That "something" was an impatient, angry herd cycling and recycing through the line because there rooms weren't ready due to another convention's late checkout, but instead of simply waiting the 30 minutes hotel staffers told them it would take to ready their rooms, they preferred to get back in line. When they got to the front to be told the same news, they would argue for 10-15 minutes per Moose. This caused quite the backup.

While I sat in a lobby chair with our luggage watching this debacle, I noticed many Moose grazing about wearing brightly colored coats like this:

I wish I had known the secret color coded system at the time, because I would have approached the Alpha Moose to suggest that he restrain his subordinates. Alas, I did not have the magic of the internet at my fingertips at that time.

The Moose also clogged the elevators. Similarly impatient with the elevators, they were not content to wait for the next "down" elevator. They would get in the "up" elevator, only to ride back down. Thus, they stuffed the elevators full of moose for an eternity. It's a miracle we made the boat for the reception.

Some friends joined us at the hotel bar following the reception, where dozens of moose cows had obviously recently returned from Dick's Last Resort, since they were wearing the large paper condom hats as pictured at the start of the story. None of the Bull Moose were to be found; I assume they were still out at the watering hole. No Chicago resident ever goes to Dick's Last Resort, by the way. But the Moose seemed to have a good time.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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