Okay, forget Prince. He's creepy to me, not so to others. I certainly don't hate him; I just don't want him in my sugar walls.

But someone does irritate me to the point of madness. A thorn in my side, a pain in my neck, a boil on my ass. That person is the ÜberFriend who lives across the street.

She's a grade ahead of ÜberElder, and comes over nearly every day after school to play. She's been forbidden to play inside, due to my intense dislike of her, but she still manages to be my undoing.

For example, I am getting ready for a garage sale, and have separated items to be sold. One huge pile is toys the Übers have outgrown, another is old holiday decorations I no longer want. It took me an entire afternoon to segregate these items.

It was undone in a matter of minutes by that dreaded beast of a girl.

The Girl's outdoor toys are located in the garage, in a specific area, on shelves. I opened the garage so the girls could play with these items. But ÜberFriend decided she didn't want to play with those toys. Instead she waded into the sea of sale items located in the garage's center and pulled out every fucking baby toy, plastic pumpkin, and discarded stuffed animal she could find.

Now, if she were sweet and demure, I would be slightly irritated. But she's not. She whines, complains, bosses, and plots evil. When she speaks to adults, she is either demanding as if she were a superior or baby talking. BABY TALKING. I fucking hate that. She won't eat anything but peanut butter and jelly or chicken nuggets (I'm not exaggerating. No hot dogs, no mac n cheese, no hamburgers, nothing.) Yet every day she asks what we're having for dinner just so she can grimace and say, "Yuck." She constantly challenges my authority. She's unsuccessful, but it still bugs the piss out of me. Her vile nature makes her transgressions all the more grating on my nerves.

EVERY OTHER FRIEND Elder has brought home has played nicely with Younger; she's continually nasty to her. I want to forbid her presence, but I fear that will make her yet more appealing.

And somebody bought her a recorder so she can be shrill and unpleasant from her own yard. Thanks a lot, unknown person.

I don't need this kind of stress in my life. She's gotta go, people, she's gotta go.