Fashion News! Unsexy Is the New Sexy
Plastic surgery, microdermabrasion, liposuction and hair extensions have outlived their welcome in the fashion community. The news for fall is a look insiders call "Roper," characterized by the 1970's fashion icon from the sitcom "Three's Company."

"I'm bored with perfection," stated Paris designer Maurice! from his studio. "It's time for individuality! Out with the Hiltons, or those monstrous Olsen twins! Bring on the polyester stretch pants, darling."

The new look is shapeless, ageless and infinitely comfortable. Think caftan. Think muu-muu. Think crochet.

Footwear has also undergone a major change. Stilettos, kitten heels, even the wedge have given way to what fashionistas dub "Ortho." To complete the look, designers combine the white, thick-soled shoes with nude or suntan nylon knee-hi's, rolled down around the ankle.

To accommodate the new fashions, models are engaging in reverse liposuction, also known as "granny fanny." Cellulite is de riguer. Also, young models have begun drawing varicose veins on the back of their legs with blue eyeliner pencils, to perfectly accent their new "Orthos."

Hair news for fall: short and tightly curled.

The look has already been spotted in Milan, Paris and Tokyo; expect it in your stores sometime this month.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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