
I present you with ... ta da! The Cup-A-Cake Cupcake Container.
"This unique container will hold a frosted cupcake in place with protrusions positioned in such a way that the cupcake will not move within the container if bounced, jiggled, or turned upside down."
I wouldn't recommend trying that with a cake. Cake doesn't care how difficult it is. Cake disregards your feelings time and time again. Don't get hurt again; have a cupcake! A warm, sweet, considerate cupcake!