I'm Better Today.

The University of North Dakota Cheer and Dance Squad cheered me up. Can you ever have too much fun? They seem to have a frightening amount of fun at the University of North Dakota.

Also, the Sunday Paper always provides me with endless hours of entertainment. The comics! The ads! The puzzles! I like to search through the coupon section to find new disgusting products to show Dilf. Unfortunately, food companies seem to launch new products in the fall, so the pickings were slim. I'm going with the Hummel stained glass lamp for $200 or the anti-fungal foot cream.

I found a couple of things in the coupon section a bit troubling, however. One was a commemorative plate featuring a "Rottweiler's look of devotion," which looked more like his hunger pangs before he rips off your leg and eats it in front of you as you slowly bleed to death at his feet.

The most disturbing ad was for an anti-snoring device. I tried to find the exact horrifying image, but I can't. It's a wife smothering her struggling husband with a pillow, with the tag line, "There is a better way to stop him from snoring." A better way than murder? Tell me more! I can't believe more people haven't found this offensive! Are women really this angry with their husbands that killing them in their sleep is amusing? I won't belabor the point, but people, how much do we hate each other?

I love Dilf so much I like to share disturbing images and products with him. And really, is there a greater love than that?
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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