I realize I complain about toys a lot. Here, here and here, for instance.

If that's true, it's only because of the sheer volume of annoying, useless crap bursting forth from the toy manufacturers like so much explosive diarrhea.

I'm not opposed to toys in general. I'm not opposed to new spins on old toys. I'm not opposed to new adjuncts to existing toys.

I hate miniature things. Things packaged so tightly that a blowtorch is required to disengage them from their plastic prisons. Things that are played with for but a moment because they only have one use, and the kids tire of them quickly. Things that are ugly.

The Littlest Pet Shop fills this description. The website makes them look much cuter (and larger) than they are in reality. They have these drippy, downturned eyes which would require a trip to the vet and some eye drops were they to exist in nature. They're always sad and mournful, even though they have more accessories than I do. As a matter of fact, those accessories number in the thousands, are impossible to take on and off the "pets," and wind up scattered all over the floor.

Someone gave the ÜberGirls a set of these for Christmas. They sat in the trunk for months. (Oooops! haha, how did THAT happen?) They were put in the outdoor toys in the garage, and opened yesterday.

Today, they sit in the garbage. They were played with once.

The girls don't miss them.

I wish the same could be said for the purple electric guitar someone bought ÜberElder for her third birthday, an item that got "lost" when we moved from our first house to this one in 2004. ÜberElder asked about it last week. Truthfully, I said I didn't know where it was and I hadn't seen it since we moved.

What she doesn't know won't hurt her.