I had an Oprah-HA moment when I read this last week.

I was wondering why mini-mansions bother me so much. I like pretty things. I like extravagant things. I am not upset or envious if I can't own them myself; I like looking at them. So why would I care if someone built a big Victorian-looking thing where a split-level of little consequence had once stood? (Actually, I still don't know why I care, but now I know what bothers me about them...)

They aren't real. They're an attempt to buy feelings and a life and I just know within those walls are people frustrated and disheartened because they've reached their "dream" and yet they're still not happy.

I know I'm overreaching. That's what I do. But bear with me anyways.

How many "de-clutter" articles and tv shows and products are there on the market? This smacks of people buying stuff to make them happy, then realizing that not only did the stuff not make them happy, but its presence is now crowding them and making them unhappy. We need to wake up, people.

You can try and stage your life by buying props and scenery and costumes and even scripting your speech, but you can't create a life that isn't there. You can hire someone to perfectly decorate your house for Christmas, but if your family barely knows one another, you're not going to be able to fake the togetherness.

I'm not someone who thinks all women need to be stay-at-home moms or anything like that, but if people are pursuing material success at the expense of human relationships, it's just going to result in misery. We are social animals. We need each other. You can work to afford the summer home and the boat and the fishing gear only to find when you get your kids out in the middle of the water, you have nothing to talk about.

I watch that SuperNanny show all the time. It strikes me that the parents who are at their wits' end often have no idea what to do with their children because they don't know their children. If you know your children, you know what to do to really discipline and motivate them. You can't read it in a book. Every kid is different.

I think I'm rambling here. Where was I again? Oh, yes. Buying happiness.

You can't do it.

Also, going to Paris in Vegas is not really going to Paris, and touring Vegas is not the same as traveling the world. Nor does owning an SUV make you sporty.