For those of you who did not grow up in the Chicago area, or who were born after the late 1970's, Cuddly Dudley was a fixture on WGN's Ray Rayner Show.

I still remember the song:

"We're off to Cuddly Dudley's house
He's [cute or sweet] as he can be
With his ears of gold and his nose that's cold
He's cuddly as can be!
The [I forget] that he [I forget]
And the jokes that he pokes
Are never aimed at me
But the name that he gives and the way that he is
Is Cuuuuuuddly"

I loved Cuddly Dudley with a white hot passion. They sold Cuddly Dudley stuffed toys. I never got one. I pretended my stuffed collie was Cuddly Dudley, but I knew it was a sham.

Now I have a big gold dog. Go figure.

Anyway, my big gold dog is about as dangerous as Cuddly Dudley, but without the razor-sharp wit and quick rejoinders. We were over at Towel Boy's house the other night; he has a pool in his backyard. Underneath this pool reside several baby rabbits. Moxie removed each of these baby rabbits gently in her mouth, and set them each down in the grass where she could watch them squeak and hop. Unharmed, we returned them to their nest at the end of the evening.

Contrast this with Miss Muffin's approach to wildlife. ÜberGirls and their friends were en route to the back yard when they ran back into the house in a panic: "Daddy! Mr. Über! There's a chipmunk tail on the stepping stones to the backyard!"

ÜberFriend: "There's still some parts attached to the tail."

ÜberElder: "We think it's a chipmunk, but we can't tell for sure."

I went out to look, and sure enough, Muffin had eaten half a chipmunk, and reserved the tail section for later. Lucky for me, she doesn't have opposable thumbs. I probably would've found it in a Tupperware container in the fridge.