I'm sorry to be the one to tell this to the world, but Nick is an abomination unto the Lord, a violation of the laws of nature, a tool of evil marked by Satan himself...

He has a third nipple. Yep, he's a Thirdie.

If I had known Nick was a damn dirty thirdie, I would NEVER have let him in my house, let alone use my shower. He was around my children!

For those of you who are calling me a Nipplist or Supernumeraryphobic, I say, you're damn right I am! These thirdies are trying to push their agenda on us. Pretty soon, there will be third-nipple bras just to accomodate their freakishness. They will have Third Nipple Rights parades, with shirtless people flaunting their filthy third nipples without any shame at all. They are a threat to us normal, red-blooded two-nippled Americans.

God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Eve and Adam's Third Nipple. These people are not part of His plan. They shouldn't be able to adopt children, they shouldn't be allowed to teach children, and for goodness sakes, don't let them marry!

People like this guy are trying to convince us that they're "normal". In this post, he tries to trick us into accepting his "nipplestyle" by suggesting a well-known truth (third nipples are evil) is "unenlightened."

He also exaggerates the percentage of thirdies (one in 18? come on!) and encourages the thirdies to shout their abnormality from the rooftops! Obviously, he doesn't care that I will have to explain to my children what "supernumerary" means. Oh, no. Next thing you know, they will be teaching "third nipple acceptance" in school! The day that happens, I'm homeschooling.

Selfish. Decadent. Unnatural. Immoral. That's the thirdie lifestyle.