Boy was I wrong.

The "sexy" costumes have already been mentioned earlier this year by my loyal readers, so I decided to click on the "funny" section of just one mega-seller of costumes.

I was expecting the usual yawn-inducing "clever" jokes of years past, and I wasn't disappointed.  But the truly outstandingly bad costumes were there, too.  In varieties my brain never wanted to imagine.

For instance, "Groppin' Granny."  Did they mean "Gropin' Granny?"  It doesn't matter.  What matters is, the photo on the website doesn't fully portray the costume.   Allow me to quote the website:  "Costume includes: old-look, flowered dress with open front. Flesh colored bodysuit with 'female parts' and socks."

You read that correctly.


If mocking the elderly isn't your thing, maybe making fun of obesity is.

This costume consists of a "Long sleeve dress with big ole belly and breasts made right on."  A big "ole" belly?  Is that what they shout at bull fights in Mexico?

But I suppose the sort of people who collapse into uncontrollable fits of laughter upon viewing this costume aren't known for their grammatical skills.  Their brains are too busy soaking up the "funny".

Zooming past the tired sexual innuendos, cultural slurs and still more fat jokes, I came upon this winner, which celebrates our nation's pride at having the highest rates of incarceration in the world:

It's called the "Department of Erection."  It's made up of an "Official look orange correction jumpsuit with one major protruding difference."

Really?  What's the protruding difference?  This joke is much too subtle for me.  It should come with a written explanation.  Maybe I was just confused by the "official look" jumpsuit.

The only thing that would make this remotely amusing to me is if he wore an Ann Coulter mask, or perhaps Condoleeza Rice.

Those are but three that caught my eye.  Feel free to browse the site and come up with your own favorites.  There are enough unfunny jokes here to make me think they hired Dane Cook as a designer because Carrot Top wouldn't stoop low enough for them.

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