Do you see what time it is right now? 1:09 a.m. CST. Why am I up at this hour, you ask? Even Übermilf needs beauty sleep, doesn't she?

Because the motherfucking dog whined to go outside at 12:22 a.m. CST. And, because she's been on Prednisone due to her earlier encounter with a spider, she has to urinate more frequently. And I wouldn't want to clean up that mess in the morning, if I rolled over and went back to sleep instead of heeding her warning.

Well, I'm here to tell you, folks, I would rather clean up dozens of urine puddles than one skunk attack. That's right -- she got full-on blasted by a skunk when she went outside.

Nick, I believe you probably met the pleasant little fellow with the fragrant discharge. You know, on Saturday? When you said, "There was a skunk in your neighbor's front yard?" Strike a bell? Yeah.

I couldn't find the doggie shampoo so I used mine instead. Then, I went on the net and discovered a remedy of items I had on hand (baking soda, peroxide, and a teaspoon of dish detergent.) I don't know if it worked; she's upstairs in the bathroom with the door closed.

Oh, and Dilf? I hope you're enjoying Detroit. What the fuck, dude? I need a vacation.