I had prepared to write about things that deeply concern me, but I was getting too depressed. Maybe I'll save that for another day. Luckily, Dr. Zaius provided me with different fodder.

I didn't watch "The Brady Bunch" much when I was growing up, because it was in reruns when I was little, and those reruns reran on a local UHF station (if you don't know what that means, kids, ask your parents. Or grandparents.), and since my mom didn't want an unsightly antenna on top of our roof, we only got the VHF channels on our TV.

However, it is impossible to escape pop culture in our society, so I am familiar with the show and its famous theme song. And it bothers me. Both the show and the song.

First off, Carol is "a lovely lady" and Mike is "Mr. Brady" in the song, as if she didn't have a name until she married him. Now, I'm not invested in keeping or not keeping names; frankly, it didn't matter much to me one way or the other. I use Dilf's last name, although I never did change it at the Social Security office, but that's due to my twin hatreds of paperwork and authority figures. But for some reason, her anonymity until Brady swept in to give her an identity again bothers me.

But the stupid name thing is nothing compared to the fact that both of these people had three children with their previous spouses, so they must've been married for quite some time to these people who are never spoken of again, as if they never existed. Nobody missed his mom or her dad? Do we even know what happened to them?

Also, what does Mrs. Brady do? As I said, I wasn't a fan of the show, so maybe they explain at some point. But Alice seems to do everything but give Mr. Brady a blow job. What does she do? She must've had a job to support three girls on her own, prior to her rescue by Mike Brady.