And Dilf has stopped cowering. Mostly. A bit.

I was watching the PBS series Make 'Em Laugh last night, which focused on female comedians. They talked about some of the pioneering female stand-ups, like Jean Carroll and Phyllis Diller and how much of their material contained an undercurrent of rage. Women had very defined roles back then, and they were beating their brains, which they weren't encouraged to use very much, against the wall.

I wasn't alive back then, so I can't attest to how women back then felt. I do remember my dad telling me how, when he married my mom, his co-workers asked if he was going to "let" my mother work. My dad (who would also parrot back racist statements he heard back to the statement-maker's face at a later time, replacing the n-word with "Republican" -- "I have no problem with Republicans, I just wouldn't want my daughter to marry one!") replied, puzzled, "There isn't any 'let' or 'not let;' it's up to her."

That, in turn, was met by puzzlement by the guys at work. Not a concept they grasped apparently. But where was I?

Oh, yes. I can't experience that rage because I don't have to deal with it. Like the transgender/gay people, I can try to put myself in their shoes, but I can't actually FEEL it, I can only IMAGINE.

Now, the rage I CAN feel, is the "damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't" rage. Because I've worked, and I've been the mother/housewife. And they both suck. Not because of the people in my life, who I love and who are NOT the problem, but the "They" people. The people who have been in power since... well, I think Ronald Reagan and Gordon Gecko entered the scene, at least. There were other horrible societal leaders before then, but I didn't know them. I know these "Them." And they infuriate me.

But part of my rage is directed inward, partly because I let "Them" get to me, and partly because I haven't outsmarted "Them" yet. And I think in many ways, I've been hiding from "Them" in my cozy little house, located in a neighborhood full of non-"Thems."

And I think my anger, rage and irritation is building because it's time for me to face "Them," and take "Them" on.

"They" are going down, man. "They"'re going down hard.

Once I figure out how to do it.