The Milkman Cometh
I've complained about my perpetually angry milkman before. Today is Wednesday, so that means he lumbered menacingly up my driveway again today.

I usually cringe and hide when he comes, but today I had no need to seek cover, because Dilf ran into him outside as he was taking UberElder to kindergarten.

"Hello!" I heard the ever-friendly Dilf happily greet the burly, surly delivery man.

"Have any bottles today?" grunted Milkman in reply.

I'm telling you people, the man is OBSESSED with bottles!

"Oh, no, I forgot this week. I'll put them out next week," breezily answered Dilf, as he sauntered past.

"It's been six weeks since you've put any out," the sour Milkman countered, sullenly.

Now, I know this is a BIG FAT LIE. I put out the bottles LAST WEEK. Personally. Bear in mind, people, this guy had the nerve to leave the annual "Here's a Christmas Card, but Really It's a Reminder for My Tip" in the milk box last week. So, this must be him in full customer-service mode.

I miss Ernie. Ernie was a good milkman. Oh, Ernie, where are you now?
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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