MonsterQuest Pimps Out Pig for Porcine Porno
I've become addicted to MonsterQuest. Why is this show on The History Channel? I don't know. Why is Ice Road Truckers? Or those shows about what could possibly happen in the future? Why do I keep watching these things? I don't know!

MonsterQuest is basically the same show over and over, only they insert the name and legend a different mythical beast each week. Let me recreate an episode for you:

"Is [insert Bigfoot or some other beastie here] real? These [hunters, fishermen, drunken/high rural teenagers] say yes! They took a picture! [Zoology expert, marine biologist or other expert] looks at grainy picture of tiny object taken from 3 blocks away from subject. Expert says, 'That's a [housecat, hummingbird, man in a rented costume]' Narrator says in ominous tone, 'OR IS IT???'

So normally it's just harmless fun. Sometimes, I even think some of them could be animals once thought to be extinct, but still have a few hangers-on that have managed to evade human detection until now. But last night... well, let's just say you have one more good reason to be grateful you're not a wild boar living in Texas.

Investigators were looking to prove the existence of 1,000 lb. monster boars running around. So far, the extra large specimens found and killed by hunters have been pen-raised pigs who escaped, which explains their extra-large size. Domesticated pigs that size are exceptional, but not note-worthy.

Wild pigs, however, lead a much more hard-scrabble existence and the appearance of a hog or hogs that size could mean either mutation or the re-emergence of a hog-like creature thought to be long extinct.

To investigate, they trapped a run-of-the-mill wild boar. In fact, he looked kinda small to me. They were able to hold him down and strap a camera onto him, as a matter of fact. Then, they squirted the poor little guy with female pig pheromones, slapped him on the ass, and sent him off into the underbrush to "attract" a big bad mack daddy monster boar, and capture their special encounter on film!

Does that not sound cruel to you? Why didn't they just tart him up with some lipstick and fake eyelashes while they were at it! Didn't they stop to consider what would happen to the little guy once Big Bubba Boar got a hold of him?

I didn't see the last 15 minutes of the show, so I don't know what happened. I hope for the best but expect the worst.
Name: Übermilf
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