... but let's start with an easy target: Karl Rove.

When you're in art or entertainment and your name becomes so iconic that people place an "-ist" or an "-ite" or an "-esque" after it, it's usually a good thing. However, in politics it usually means you're so outrageously nefarious that your name has become a label for evil behavior.

Like the term "Rovian."

"Rovian" behavior does not further truth, thoughtful debate or consensus. Instead, his methods of sneaky innuendo, unfounded rumor, and outright falsehood have managed to foment acts of rage and hate in this year's election.

I was naive enough (or perhaps just hoping against hope) to believe Rove was gone after his departure in disgrace from the White House. I should've known from all those 1980's horror films that something that evil never dies.

He's back, and he's bringing 'da hate. I wonder, if his overheated rhetoric actually brings people to acts of violence, can we the people prosecute him? Because I'd like to be in charge of his punishment.

I don't believe in capital punishment, and I don't think violence ever solves anything, so don't worry, I won't hurt him. Physically. Much. I would force him to do community services of various kinds, to work off his debt to society. I'm not sure where I'd end, maybe with the elderly taking him to task. But first, I would definitely force him to work in a day care center, preferably one for over-active and imaginative preschoolers. And every day they'd have about an hour of percussion music instrument time.

Of course, he'd be fitted with a shock collar and I'd be watching him like a hawk, so if he tried to hurt or insult the kids in any way, he'd quickly learn that's not the right way to treat children.

And that's how I'd deal with just one of America's public enemies who are (trying to? successfully?) destroying America.