View from Inside the Tube

As part of medical science's everlasting search into my magical mystery boob, they took yet another MRI today. (note: that's not an actual image of my breasts.) Perhaps I can start publishing reviews of different MRI centers in different states. (I feel a bit like Yakov Smirnoff right now -- "In Chicago, you take MRI; in Texas, MRI takes YOU!)

Actually, the experience wasn't all that different. Let's compare:

Chicago area: let me keep my pants on.
Austin area: had to strip to underwear.
Advantage: Chicago. Although, I think it had more to do with me having a zipper today, instead of buttons-only in Chicago.

Chicago area: head sticking out of tube, with mirrors for viewing entire room
Austin area: entire body, including head, stuck in tube.
Advantage: Chicago

Chicago area: no pillow
Austin area: pillow
Advantage: Austin

Chicago area: sister accompanied
Austin area: Dilf accompanied
Advantage: well, let's see here. Sister left to go to a restaurant and then joked with the receptionist about getting a massage; Dilf stayed in the room and held my hand. Clearly, my sister sucks while Dilf is awesome. Advantage, Dilf.

Time will only tell who actually has an answer for me, though. I will have to wait for the radiologist to read the thing and answer, "Look! Squirrels have been storing acorns in your breast!" or "We found Jimmy Hoffa!" or whatever.

I am just really tired of the whole damn thing. And if they tell me I need another needle biopsy, I'm telling them I want to be totally knocked out, because that shit's straight outta Guantanamo.

ALSO: Regarding my Oprah/Journey post, I would like to point out that Christopher Cross will be appearing on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon tonight. So, more evidence.
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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