The End of the World Is Nigh
The "rock" band Journey is scheduled to appear appear on Oprah's show on Monday.

If that ancient Mayan dude had been able to foresee this, surely he would have stopped his calendar on October 5, 2009 instead of December whatever, 2012. This is clearly one of those Gatekeeper/Keymaster moments that directly precede the Apocalypse. Consider me your prophet of doom, and I have duly warned you.

This sinister convergence of two of Satan's tools has two stated purposes: one, to tell Oprah how singer Arnel Pineda (who some people say "has the all the stage presence of deranged Muppet on uppers") became part of the band; two, to perform their hit anthem.

Their hit anthem? You mean that one song out of their many top 40 songs? That was released in 1981? And is now overused in TV shows and such because it's in the public domain? And didn't that Pineda guy join Journey more than two years ago? What the hell?

When, oh when, will someone make a show called "Whatever, Oprah."

She also crushes puppies in her spare time.*

*That is clearly satire. You can't sue me, army of Oprah lawyers.
Name: Übermilf
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