I think the dreaded Dr. Phil says that all the time. I know he's an officious windbag, but he's right. Our goal as parents is to somehow avoid scarring our offspring emotionally while teaching them how to become positive members of society one day.

That's why I read two things today that upset me as a parent. One just made me shake my head, one made the pit of my stomach hurt.

The one that just mildly upset me came from one of Downers Grove's three blogs. (Hint: I commented, and my name ain't Chad.) I would like to publicly sympathize with any teacher who has ever taught the children of parents like that, whose children can't receive the mildest of reprimands or consequences. I would like to extend my sympathy out into the future, to anyone who has to deal with these people as adults. And, I would like to express my future sympathy to the children themselves, who may find themselves shocked and traumatized to find out that they DO TOO have to pay that speeding ticket/parking ticket/late fee.

Now, onto to more serious and egregious subject, brought to me by Fran via Facebook. In another tragic bullying story that ended in the victim's suicide, we find another group of kids walking around without any consequences attached to their actions. Are sociopaths born, or made? Isn't there some sort of baseline for decent human behavior that parents should have been enforcing since the age of two? What amazes me is to what degree these cruel, antisocial dictators are allowed to get their way, or at the very least remain unscathed. Is this what passes for a "winner?"

(A lot of attention has been paid to the "mean girls" phenomenon, and "queen bees" and such, but we all know this isn't limited to girls, so don't think if you have boys you're off the hook. Of course, if you have boys, you know this already. I'm not being patronizing, sorry.)

The older kids/people get, the more difficult it is to get them to change. I know the native Americans used to put people on islands or isolate them away from camp when they proved themselves incapable of acting in the best interest of the tribe instead of themselves. I guess that's what prisons are supposed to be for nowadays, but I think they're locking up the wrong people a lot of the time. They put people who grew up amidst poverty and violence away -- people who are acting in response to their environment. Much more frightening and threatening to me are people who grow up in comfort and opportunity and still choose a wanton disregard for other people.

Maybe they all just need a unicorn collection to set them on the right path: