My Diet's Not Going Well.
And by "Diet," I mean my anger diet.

First, SBC continues to be a bunch of incompetent boobs. SBC phone technicians kept knocking out the DSL. SBC DSL technicians kept knocking out the phone. Despite we (theoretically) receive both services through SBC, we thought they figure out what was going on. My anger diet prevents me from elaborating on this subject, so suffice it to say that SBC DSL and Phone are two separate entities who are prevented by law from speaking to one another. Also, as Senor Ding Dong said in the first place, the problem wound up being the outside lines. We're told they've been fixed. We shall see.

I made another mistake on my anger diet. I went shopping. It seems that the retail industry thinks I am a big fat cow. Nothing fits correctly, except the Gap's "Curvy Jeans." It seems that my hips and fanny are an anamoly, that can only be rectified with a "specialty" line. I feel so special. I have a grand total of one store that carries pants that fit me. Nay, not pants. I can find JEANS that fit me. Pants? Ha! I can dream.

I also need "Curvy Tops." If a blouse buttons across my busom without popping open under the pressure, it billows out around my midsection like a maternity top. Once upon a time in America, when women were encouraged to have hourglass figures, blouses were made with darts and shapes to fit women. Now, it seems women should either be sticks, Tootsie Rolls or the Michelin Man -- we don't care if you're fat or skinny, but no waists allowed!

What amazes me most is the fact size Mediums I bought ten years ago still fit me. So, what's going on? I just bought an extra-large blouse. An extra large should be, I think, size 16 to 18. I held up the arms, shoulders and midsection against a size 10, and they were identical. Identical! And the 10 fits me still. Are we being manipulated into feeling fat? Are they being cheap with fabric and sewing patters? What the hell?

Also, I tried to buy some new, over-the-calf dress boots. It seems I have two oversized hams hanging where my calves should be. I never thought my legs were that pudgy, but they must be. The fashion industry wouldn't lie, would it?
Name: Übermilf
Location: Chicago Area

If being easily irritated, impatient and rebellious is sexy, then call me MILF -- Übermilf.

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Perverts, scram. There's nothing for you here.

Now, who wants cupcakes?

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